Friday, 9 April 2010

Lows and highs

For the past 6 years I have been working in a job I don't enjoy but that almost pays the bills. The levels of hatred, anger, bitterness and resentment the customers have to each other and to us dealing with them has taken it's toll on my nerves, made me almost loose my faith in humanity, put me onto anti depressants and finally I am off sick with stress.

I haven't been at home this much since my daughter was little, and now I would give anything to become a full time house wife again, or open my own yarn shop in my home village and get to know the locals whom I have lost touch with over the past 15 years while working full time - but until Mr Fig finds gainful employment or wins the lottery then - well, I don't know what the future holds.

Too much time to think!
We have been getting out and about locally though, exercise is good for my brain, if not for my knees. 2 pictures up - if you can see it, is a house I have dreamt of living in all my life - I think it is the turrets that do it for me! It is behind the majestic Stonyhurst collage, and the Fields in front sweep down to the River Hodder.

Here is my little poochikins, Jemmy, after her first swim of the year - we usually can't keep her out of the river, but age, creaking bones and freezing water meant she wasn't willing to go any deeper than legs and face!

Aha! but on a totally feel good note - inspired by the wonderful Angelesy Allsorts and her amazing car bootery, my Mum and Dad took me out on Easter sunday to our local car boot - none of us had been in years - and look what my super dad found for me!!!!! he even bargained the seller down to £30 - and it works! (well, it spins round and round, all I need to do now is learn how to spin!)


twiggypeasticks said...

Oh poor you, I know how you feel. When I was 30 I worked for a really pants company (who are very high profile as a sharing, caring kinda firm these days !)for a real git and had what my doctor called a burn out!! I was in a position where I could tell them to shove it, we were skint but it saved my sanity. I hope you find something else and soon. I love your spinning wheel, but REALLY love Jemmy, she is gorgeous.
Take care of yourself.
Twiggy x

x vInTaGe VioLeT x said...

oh poor you :o(
hope you can find something nicer to pay the bills or even better win the lottery - i've been hating my job for awhile but today was a great day and made me remember why i do it!
love your dog! My poor old hound is very very creaky in the joints now but refuses to stay out of the water and then limps all evening - silly thing!


Well done Dad! You just must find someone to teach you to spin - how exciting!!

Vicky x

Daisie said...

I have done shitty (sorry) jobs before but am doing the bestest job in the world at the mo. Things will change and get better for you. Maybe you could make your fortune spinning? Double roll over on saturday! xxx

Catherine said...

I hope things get better soon and the bills can get paid in a much more pleasant way. Cx

Frugal Life UK said...

things can only get better (as they're rubbish for your right now!) lovely blog and loves to you xxx

Taz said...

I left my job earlier this year as it was driving me into the ground so I understand (((hugs)))
Something will turn up hon, as already said a career in wool spinning might just be round the corner. Fantastic wheel btw.

Anonymous said...

Hi there
I know exactly how you feel - I work in social housing dealing with ASB and it's so lowering doing a job you hate for people who never appreciate what you do for them or are really the lowest of the low and nothing you do will never make a blind scrap of difference. I only have 5 years to retirement and I keep the thought of that countdown close to my heart - I do hope that you will soon feel much better - you never know that lottery win could be just around the corner and you have to keep your dreams
Good Luck

Valerie said...

Hi - I hope you're in a more positive state of mind now, but I understand how depression works. It's not just a case of 'pull yourself together' is it? I hope this spring weather helps, and being able to get outdoors and feel the sun again. Fingers crossed for your dream of a yarn shop - owning a business is one of my ambitions too. I'm trying to set goals to help me work toward self employment, but it's a long term aim.
Hope the spinning goes well - you could produce your own range of artisan yarn in sumptuous colours and become the latest sensation at Liberty or Loop! Best wishes, Val x

Indigo Blue said...

Sorry I missed this post. I can relate to having a job that seriously affects your health. Sress is a very really issue and is often not understood by many people. I hope you find someting else soon. Hey your Dad did very well with the spinning wheel!!

Louise said...

I try hard to focus on the good things in my life. I have a grotty job too, where often the people I deal with are ready for an argument. Do your best to ignore them! My aspirations somehow keep me going, but it's hard I know. Good luck. x